5. myjae's poem

what even happened to me?
the perfect,
kind-hearted little boy
that put everyone
before him
to bring happiness?

well, what hardened him?
was it the people he met
at his ex-job?
were the tabloids
blowing up?
is someone gone?
why do you keep
hurting yourself?

for a minute,
i couldn’t even
recognize you,
behind the wear and tear,
the fear, the discomfort,
the lack of enthusiasm,
it’s just not right.

why do i have
to be this way?
can’t i go back
to who i was
before life got hard,
everything got thrown at me,
and even the sunniest days
felt dreary and dark?

“i don’t even want
to leave my house,
i want to stay in my room
with no interactions.
keep people
out of my room,
and don’t try to get help.”
that’s not me,
but it’s what comes out
when i speak.

someone, fix me.