3. sex

sex is power.

sex is what sells.

i only want sex.

i only want your body.

put your body
up against mine.

let’s get sweaty.

this is what keeps
our relationship alive.

we fight and argue.

but we fix it
in the bedroom.

you yell and i yell.

but we stay in it
because sex sells.

why can’t we work out
when we’re not fucking?

just give it to me harder.

keep riding along.

it’s the only joy we
find in each other.

fuck me.

2. disney movies

i wanna watch disney movies.

they represent the world.

they’re perfect.

they’re machines.

they rope us in.

they never let us out.

they take our attention.

they’re our clothes.

they’re our houses.

they’re our friends.

they’re our enemies.

they take our cash.

more and more by the day.

disney movies make us.

disney movies break us.

but we still love them.

1. zombies

zombies keep attacking.

i can’t sleep because
they’re coming for me.

they want to take
me from my bed.

they want me
to be scared.

they like that
i’m paranoid.

they like that i’m
always nervous.

they feast on my
happy thoughts.

they take over.

they help create
my unhappiness.

they hide when
i’m with others.

they come back
when i’m alone.

they just came in.

someone save me.

not creative preface

i wrote a new mini-album. it's called "not creative," because i'm not creative:

1. zombies

2. disney movies

3. sex

4. it doesn't matter

5. i am no longer creative

what a time

it’s been a ride.

moving in a lot of
different ways as
i swerve through
this mess of a life.
had great times
and rough ones,
life never knows
if i should be up
or down, and i’d
spent some time
praying to a God
that i wasn’t even
sure was listening,
stopped my praying
but still don’t know
what to think of him.

prayed for moments
that never happened,
the ones that i loved
wanted none of me,
bet they still don’t and
i wouldn’t know what
to say if they read this.
mom and pop talk up
how they want me to
find someone amazing,
but how do i tell them
i’m stuck, only wanting
the ones i’ll never have?
they say when you love,
everyone else becomes
less interesting, just as
boring as they probably
see me at this point now.

but that’s life for ya.
hits where it hurts,
and sometimes it’s
hard to get up, once
feared i would never
get myself up, but i’m
working towards that.
every day i’m trying
to see that better me,
the king i claim to be,
extra extra, read all
about it, he’s gonna
make the book a hit,
how he made all this,
embracing the scars,
it’s the poetry so far.

what a time.

a quiet night

it’s as calming
as it is frightful.
the street is as
intimidating as
it is peaceful,
and i only hear
myself, walking,
deeply breathing
as i make my way
back home tonight.

the dead of night
and quiet air make
me think of isolation.
the lonely life i lead
and the disconnect
i feel from it all, my
family and friends,
i feel out of place,
stuck in the wrong
world, wanting to
wake up and feel
like i really belong.

but instead, here
i walk in the night,
i should fear it but
it’s the only place
where i feel right.
out all on my own,
my thoughts and i,
nobody else here.
the only time that
i’m unafraid comes
when i shouldn’t be.
wish i could stay out
all night and stare at
the beautiful dark sky.

it’s the only way i’d find peace.

the man who loves too hard

it’s one of those
late nights, i’m
all alone, and i
sit and listen to
all the sad songs.
stuck in my head
is the one called
“the man who
can’t be moved.”
beautiful script,
a man who loves
so much, and just
wants them back.

i feel it too hard, i
dove in too deep,
more times than i
really should’ve,
and here i stay,
stuck to myself,
because i loved
to the point that
i didn’t prepare
myself for all the
pain, the broken
heart that can’t
heal so quickly.

and now i watch
and realize that
i’ll never be the
one they end up
in the embrace of.
thought they could
never find someone
like me, but i realize
after all that i’ll never
find anyone like them.
but that’s my story, i’m
forever and always the
man who loves too hard,
hides pain behind a smile
and prays it’ll all be okay.

“i wanna wake up in 2013.”