i'm shit

tired of pretending that
i’m happy with the way
life is going, tell you the
only thing i’m king of is
telling the world i’m fine
when i’m really not, but
look at all the faces who
couldn’t give a shit if i’m
good or bad, and i think
they’ll only care when i’m
dead, i’ll get the success
i’ve been shooting for as
soon as i hit the floor, six
feet under the ground and
now the poems will blow up,
roses while i’m here? nope,
i don’t deserve any of them.

all i ever do is scream
about my sadness to
some people who just
don’t want to listen, i’m
sorry i’m a bother, wish
i wasn’t so annoying and
codependent, i’m just too
desperate to find approval
because i don’t like myself
enough to do it, not a good
influence, and as much as i
try to make others happy, i’ll
never be enough for them all.

the digital age creates
our expectations, i see
what everyone’s doing
and i wanna be them,
they’re so happy, life’s
treating them well, but
here i am falling in the
same hole as before, a
lonely, sad, unfortunate
soul that’s not worth the
same as the others, so i
guess this is the way i’m
coming of age, the guy in
the background that won’t
be special or remembered
and will be better off when
he leaves everyone alone,
stops pretending he’s not
disappointing to the ones
he holds in a high regard,
just shut up, matt, no one
wants to listen to you talk.

i’m shit.