1. state of mind

finding that life takes me
down to the drain
every day,
can’t stay at peace
because all i see is gray,
blurred by the drink
and the xan,
i can’t clean off the table,
it’s infested with the snow,
grass pokes itself out,
as i lie on my couch,
floor is littered with orange,
got a call from my mom,
i hope she isn’t suspicious
since i need a new prescription.

got a bit of an addiction,
i call it hedonism,
and it’s the only lane
of escape,
i only find joy in a bottle,
a tablet to my face
sets me free,
temporarily,
as the come down only
makes me see this pain
more clearly,
body’s giving out,
everyone’s gone,
just a few spirits that
try to be my company,
even when destroying myself,
they won’t find their way
to the door.


take me to the roof,
it’s the only place
i find some clarity at,
the cold air tries, in vain,
to sober me up,
and it clears the blur,
i stare in front of me,
overlook the city,
for a second, i see
some beauty,
the night sky
actually decided
to shine tonight,
it was quite the sight.

now i see it all.