1. here i am again

how can one

love so strong

and yet
get no love back?
how do they pour
every little thing
into many others,
and not feel

that same effort, too?
love’s one of those
terrible demons

that never lets you

have things your own way.

why can i not find
my own person?
why does the one
i want to love

never want to love back?
why do i not

get to love them

until they fall out

of it with me?
how do they fall out
of love so easily?
what if i get the one
i want to love,

but they just become
too tired of me?
why does love

play all of these games,
and never give me
hope or happiness?

is it love’s fault,
or is it my own?
is love picking me
as a punching bag,
or am i the one

that causes all of this?
am i un-lovable?
will i ever have

the satisfaction of love?
or will it continue

to escape my grasp?
what do i do now?

i guess i just try
focusing on me,
learning to feel content

in my lonesomeness,
try to enjoy

the company of me,
earn my own love
before anyone else
steals my heart...but,

i’m too used to me.
i spend far

too much time

on my own now,
it starts to get dull.
when am i gonna get
that lovey shit people
make a big deal about?

never, i bet.