4. someone loves me

it’s killing me softly

and it never goes away,

a fumble

i’ll think about

for the rest of my days,

everyone wonders

if i’m scared

of missing out,

but when you miss

your chance

with the ones

you’ve loved the most,

you’re never scared

to lose anything else,

in some ways,

i think i’ve grown,

but i’m still

the same kid

falling hopelessly

for ones i was never

meant to have,

every time

i think i’ve finally

put it in the past,

the scars i thought

had faded

are larger than i remembered.

still think about them

when a love song plays,

and my heart

still skips a beat

when i hear their names,

valentine’s day

feels empty

every time i think about it,

how many other timelines

are there

where i find the one

in the end?

and why is this

the one

where love is never

in my hands?

i’ve only ever been

the one

who helps others forget,

but my memory’s

so good

that i can’t stop

remembering all of them.

can’t live without them

but i sometimes wish

i never met them,

‘cause every time

i’m around them,

it all comes back to me,

and it feels like

it’s not healthy,

wanna give them

the best of me

but all they ever get

is the rest of me,

remain aloof

to try to prove

i’m okay without them,

let my shoulder

turn colder

instead of opening up,

i know that

someone loves me,

but it feels like

our connection

is just never meant to be.

i wish i could believe.