5. (the 20s)

“enjoy your 20s,”

so they always say.

it’s your physical prime,

so have the time

of your life,

make the memories

you’ll live with

for the next 60,

and lucky me,

it’s all mapped out.

i get to spend

my 20s

in the roaring 20s,

nothing but fun

on the path

to comfort,

the world’s my oyster,

and it’s time

for me

to finally be the star.

so i thought.

20, i was ruined by love,

21, i missed some chances,

22, i lost to a pandemic,

23, i couldn’t keep from being sick,

24, i made some progress,

25, i got existential,

26, i’m tryna keep it together.

i’m doing a great job, by the way.

every move i make

feels scrutinized,

like i’m not

doing something right,

and it doesn’t help

my mind

that i feel like

i ain’t worth

the box

that i stand on.

i’m not worthy

of love,

and probably

never will be,

pushing closer to 30

but i feel like

i’m 13,

everyone

is handling themselves

on their own,

but i wouldn’t know

the first step

to independence.

i guess

this is my destiny,

it’s self-fulfilling

prophecy,

and no amount

of manifesting

keeps me

from depressing,

i’m a walking warning sign,

but i promise

that i’m fine,

just brush me off

to the side,

i’m bound to be

left behind.

my 20s have been great.