need a place
to rest
my weary heart,
tryna keep it
in one piece
while i’m handing
everyone a piece,
the better everything seems,
the faster it beats,
and it sure beats
being numb,
but i wish there was
a moment of peace,
never know
if i’m doing it right,
indecisiveness strikes
while i’m writing
as i wonder
what i’m really feeling,
should i build the wall
or let myself fall?
seems low self-esteem season
is reappearing
as we’re reaching the fall.
always found myself
trying to stay
on the right side
of the wrong crowd,
took such
a hard left
that i started wondering
what the right side
really looked like,
then every time
i thought i was sure,
uncertainty brought me
right back to before,
love-bitten
and grief-stricken
at the same time,
wondering why
i can’t properly feel
what i want
without fear
of how i’ll fuck it up.
guess that’s
the story of one
who loves too hard,
a perpetual purpose
to please
all but myself,
never comfortable
when i feel like
i’ve found the one,
and it never
feels like i’ve won,
just like i’m stuck
and never know
what i want,
even when it’s standing
right in front
of me,
please let my heart
have a moment
to breathe,
give me a sign
that this time,
i can have
something nice.
just this once.
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