9. (milkshake duck)

they never prepare you

for the fame,

lost myself

in the lights

and started chasing

those highs,

wanted to be

on everyone’s screens,

but didn’t realize

this is how it would be.

they found out

my name

while i was reckoning

with my worst days,

all the times

i stepped on others,

cheated and lied,

said words

i’d never utter today,

no attention

to the weight

they’d hold.

always got told

i’d learn

when i was older,

but i thought

i’d be young forever,

hard-headed

and never letting

myself grow,

so busy chasing

what i thought

i wanted

that i wasn’t

stepping back

to look in the mirror.

i wanted

to make headlines,

but not in that way,

all eyes on me

and suddenly,

i’m feeling their pain,

perpetuating

a cycle of hate

for my selfish gain,

and only having

the gall

to call it out

when i got caught.

i did plenty wrong,

it was stupid of me,

but words are hollow

if i choose to wallow

instead of working on it,

it was the kick

in the ass

that i needed

to be better

for those around me,

the ones who never

lost faith in me.

i didn’t deserve

their grace

but they gave it anyway,

now i gotta learn

from my mistakes,

and let me be

your lesson

on the dangers of fame,

make that change

and take control

of your behaviors

before it’s too late.