8. mazie

mazie

was my first love

and i never knew it,

sat beside me

in my lonesome

with a smile on her face,

teeth shined like pearls,

hardly knew

what a friend was

before i met this girl,

guess 18 really was

a whole new world,

she always told me

i deserved better,

saw a side of me

that i couldn’t see,

and i learned

what it felt like

to be happy,

treasured every time

that she came by

to watch movies

in the moonlight.

wish i told you

to stay the night,

knew i loved you

but was too scared

to lose you,

so i stayed quiet,

tried not to ruin it

with my only friend

even though i had

the words playing

in my head,

i hit the bed

with those words

left unsaid,

thought i’d get

another chance

to dance with you,

thought you’d be

in my future plans,

i’d take your hand

and get to be

your man.

but now,

i can never have you,

fate decided

it was time

for you to go,

you smiled brightest

just to hide

the pain

you felt inside,

laughed the loudest

to try to quiet

the demons that pried,

never even saw you cry

because you brushed it

to the side,

i wish i knew

so i could’ve helped you

find the joys in life,

you had me

at hello,

but it hurts to know

i never got

to say goodbye,

so instead,

i stand at the gravesite

and say the words

i should’ve said

a thousand times…

i love you, mazie.