all i’ve got
is dreams,
never nothing more,
every one of my goals
turns out to be fool’s gold,
i got people
that care about me
who i only ever
disappoint,
i don’t get
to have
special events,
all i do
is fool myself
into thinking
people want
to be around me,
but i can’t ever overcome
my social anxiety
when they’re free.
how can i expect
to find a lover
if i’m scared
to even go
to a restaurant?
i’m the type
that wouldn’t even
eat the cake
at my own surprise party,
probably be too scared
to even show up anyway,
hate being alone
but i freak out
when i’m in public,
what do i even want?
i don’t know
what’s going on,
i’m riding along in life
but what’s my purpose?
how long will it take
until i figure this thing out?
i’m tired of having
to be strong,
i’ve been strong
for too long,
i just want
to breathe,
i want to be
at ease,
i lost two therapists
in the same year,
so it’s like whenever
i try to get help,
i can’t have it
for long,
i’m tryna
keep it together,
because i know
there’s someone out there
who needs me,
but i’m so low
on energy,
i’m getting sleepy.
i’m taking a depression nap.
