you don’t really know me.
i’m a tortured soul
obsessed with self-sabotage,
constantly plotting
the next way
i’ll make the good times
go away,
carefully crafting
the perfect plan
to lose everything i love,
might think about
unfollowing everyone
and then see
who sticks around,
spent so much time
tryna be right
for the wrong ones,
maybe i’ll find myself
in the people
who choose to stay,
even though
i should come
with a warning label.
feeling like everyone
i ever meet
should get the disclaimer,
don’t fall in love
with me
or let me fall back,
because you’ll only
end up
as a topic
in at least
seven of these,
always the bounceback
or the one
to make somebody jealous,
never really know
who likes me for me,
and honestly,
why would anybody?
all the progress
i’ve ever made
has never gotten me
better with love,
starting to feel like
it’ll never come.
keep thinking
they hate me,
but i guess it’s okay
‘cause i hate me too,
i’m still not forgiving myself
for things i did
a decade ago,
fighting wars with myself
over people
that mistreated me,
struggling to get past
my mistakes
in the situations
where i was manipulated,
it’s almost like
i’m forgetting who i am,
think it’s high time
that you run away
before i fall into
the same traps
and make the same mistakes
that i just can’t escape.
you don’t really know me.
