3. powerless

all my life,

i’ve been dealing

with a tyrant,

but all this fucker

wants is for me

to be silent,

i’m tired of lying

and pretending

you’re always right,

i’ve said my piece

on works

the world may never

get to read,

i’ve held it back

to protect you,

if you think this is mean,

picture the quotes

i once wrote

that won’t get released.

dealt with the policing

and all the times

i just had to “suck it up,”

all the days i heard,

“think of the good he’s done,”

as if that forgives

the pain you’ve caused,

searched for the root

of my anxiety,

and found it traced

back to you,

all the threats,

all the silencing,

pulling my hair

and grabbing my face,

gaslight and manipulate,

never allowed to make a case

because you tried

to silence me.

guess the only way

you’ll ever change

is if i say it here,

you took away my voice,

but you’ll never take

the written word,

and if it stings,

i guess you’ll know

what i’ve felt

for all these years.

you want independence?

well, here it is:

my independent decision

to call you on your shit,

fight against the abuse,

you made me out

to be the weakling,

“you need to grow a pair,”

if that’s the case,

i can only ask you this:

is this strong enough for you?