1. my demons

the overthinking returns,
it just never seems to leave.
the smallest things worry me,
and they really shouldn’t,
but i can’t help myself.

i dwell on the hypotheticals,
some good, some bad,
but mostly the sad,
and i don’t want to imagine
such bad thoughts,
because i’m trying to spread positivity,
make the world happy,
bring joy to my friends,
but i scare myself.

“am i a bother?”
“do they not want me around?”
“is my positivity fake?”
“can i really be happy
when my thoughts bother me so?”

and i can’t just “not think about them,”
because they stick with me,
they bring me down,
they make me lazy.
you can’t just “stop thinking,”
if it was that easy, would i be writing?

i guess i just have to deal with it,
try my best to be happy,
stay optimistic about life,
though the demons may haunt me,
i have people in life
that will help me get through the pain,
and i know it’ll never go away,
but i’ll battle through it
and everything will be okay.

just don’t leave me, please.