9. career

so that’s what it’s like
to be dropped like it’s hot.
3 weeks
and i haven’t heard a peep.

i expected a call,
it’s the least you could do.
after all,
the cops were inside,
word-of-mouth said there was a gun,
he was up in my face,
i feared for my life,
shed tears in the back,
but i got out of dodge.
and after all the good times,
good things that you said,
“valuable asset to the team”
my ass.

you’re only loved,
if you go all the way up,
here’s a card
as we send you on your way!
but not me,
hell, i didn’t get a call
asking if i was okay.
almost 9 months
just pissed down the drain,
now i understand
why they talk behind your back.

always thought you were caring,
a good one all-around,
but it was part of your act
just to get me to stay,
spiral down further
in my mental state.
true colors were exposed,
and we’re just statistics,
we’re replaceable
you probably forgot my existence.
just like everything else
that you forgot all the time,
need to talk? days off?
“oh whoops, slipped my mind!”

shit, i’m writing rhythmic again.
i don’t do that anymore,
but it comes to my brain,
because i can’t help but ask,
why didn’t i hear from you?
the emotional stress
was too much to take,
pushed over the ledge,
no i’m not coming back.

seems like you don’t care,
“fuck your feelings, matt,
there’s other college kids
that’ll go right in your spot.”
and i’ll have you know
i didn’t find everything okay,
because bullshit wasn’t on my
shopping list.

i did what i could
and i tried my best
and i wasn’t perfect,
but i owned my mistakes.
leaving was not one of those,
but not hearing from you
after i was promised a call,
now that’s a mistake
that hasn’t been owned.
after almost 9 months,
i think i deserved better,
but you have your plans
and i have mine, too,
so thanks for letting me help
you to throw me away.

good luck to everyone else.