2. dependent

all that time

i spent talking

about growing up alone

is what i was

scared of the most,

i’m barely feeling

like i’m self-sufficient,

almost like i can’t

accomplish my missions

without supervision,

and no matter

how much i try

to convince myself

otherwise,

fear of abandonment

never subsides,

i feel like

i’m too much

to handle,

and i’m sorry

that i can’t

be better at it,

i’m really trying,

but i don’t want

to burden others

and allow my emotions

to smother.

it’s why i wanna tell

everyone i ever love

to run,

i’m scared to fall

because i’m too clingy,

i sabotage myself

whenever the feeling

starts to bubble up

because my mind

finds it hard to trust,

scars left unhealed

and i can’t resist

picking and making

the skin peel,

the existential dread’s

got me questioning

if i’m worthy of love,

something i want

to give plenty of,

but i’m scared,

so i keep the shields up,

i just want

one day

to have some comfort.

give me something

to make me forget,

all these obsessive

and intrusive thoughts

are planting the nest

inside of my mind,

i’m just tryna

lead a happy life,

one day,

i wanna feel

what it’s like

to be loved,

wanna have someone

i can take on

this life thing with,

it’s hard

to be individual,

especially when all

the pressure’s on,

i’m sorry i’m so dependent,

i just wish

for a minute,

i could get out

of my own head.

is that good?