8. growing pains

never knew that

getting older would 

be this tough.

never knew that

i’d have to fear

everyone i love would

run away from me.

never knew that

my brain would say

that if someone just

stopped talking to me,

it was all my fault.

never knew that

doing what i loved

would be such

a rollercoaster.

never knew that

i’d go to sleep

when the sun

woke up, ‘cause

my thoughts were

destroying me.

never knew that

i’d be 130 pounds

but still feel bad

about how i look.

never knew that

people could be

such assholes

that break you

without a word,

and ruin your

bright, happy,

wide-eyed view

on the world.

never knew that

i’d be this scared.