Tuesday, April 9, 2019

are you here for me?

it’s quiet up here.
what should be a
peaceful time only
makes my anxiety
rise because i’m
stuck on only you.
i see you walk by
and i ask myself
why i even bother
when i know that
you wouldn’t care
if i dropped dead.

so many people that
i could fall with, but
you’re the only one
that my mind circles
back to, and even as
i try to push it away,
the feeling remains
the same, even as
i tell myself about
how little you care
for anything and
everything i do.

i’m wasting my time
because i know that
so many other, better
people deserve you,
but i’m stuck and just
can’t get myself out of
the rut i’ve kept falling
in the last few months.
hate myself more and
more every time i face
the fact that i blew my
chance to be with you.

i just wish you could
be here for me, when
the going gets tough.
i wish i was someone
more important, and
i wish i mattered more
for you in the long run.
but i don’t, and so i’m
always gonna die a bit
inside knowing that i’ll
never be enough, the
good times are gone.

but i’m here for you.

are you here for me?

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