disappear

used to have days
where i wanted to
disappear, run from
everyone and leave
my life behind, see
if anyone would be
sad if i walked out.
even thought that
the only way for my
work to hit would be
to drop dead, and i
thankfully got over
that, but it sucks to
see that others can’t.

some are quiet, and
never telling anyone
about the pain, they
hide it behind a smile,
and it’s a shame that
the happiest ones are
hurting so bad on the
inside, takes so much
to fight through it but
no one went to check,
were they doing okay?
couldn’t see but it was
certainly there, now the
light is permanently out.

some people scream
but no one hears them.
the words echo far but
there’s no answer, and
so they suffer despite
all the signs that get
ignored, the world will
chew up and spit out
without a worry about
if you’re feeling fine or
if the pain makes you
want to take your life.

shame that the earth
won’t care unless you
take it down to that line.
“rewarded in the afterlife”
only means that you can’t
have your flowers while you
are still here to smell them.
all we want is to be happy
and to feel like we matter,
and we can’t have it until
we’re six feet in the dirt?

fuck that shit.