7. how are you?

these days, the one
question everyone
asks when they see
me is “how are you?”
it’s odd to say this but
i just never know what
to say to that, because
i just don’t know how i’m
feeling, i can’t say “good”
but i can’t say “bad,” and
i can’t tell what that means.
i don’t know if i should feel
concerned, or if it’s just a
part of an ongoing process.

one that entails that i just
become satisfied enough
with life that i can handle
the rigor of it without any
exceptionally good or bad
moments, where every day
just feels like a five out of
ten and nothing really tries
to move the needle in either
direction, i keep to myself
away from all the stress of
society, and find just enough
enjoyment in it to keep going.

i suppose i sometimes
want something a little
bigger than this, maybe
a few 10/10 days would
be nice, but i guess i’ve
just created this routine
where each of my days
are bound to be about
the same, nothing bad
enough to complain of,
but not a lot that’ll be
good enough to write
home about, that’s all
just a part of life’s big
plan for me, i suppose.

so how are you doing?