1. crisis

i’m having my first

mid-life crisis,

didn’t think i could skip

so far ahead,

but the quarter-life

has gone for too long.

haven’t had

a good night’s sleep

in weeks,

i’m scared to close

my eyes,

what if they don’t

open again?

in my dreams,

all i see

is a reflection

of the pressure

i’ve been placing

on myself,

and i can’t stop

my mind from racing

as i alternate

between sleep and wake.

they say to enjoy our youth,

as if these aren’t

the worst years

of our lives,

like we’re not scared

that we’re all gonna die,

like we don’t have to worry

if our friends

are gonna make it out alive,

as if we’re not

living just to survive,

praying that we make it

to 25,

and that one day,

the world finally

answers our cries

for help.

7 years to 30,

yet i still see

the clock ticking,

telling me

i’m growing weary,

but i wanna be

taken seriously,

i want to feel like

i matter,

i’ve been knocked down

too many times,

i want luck

for once

to be on my side,

i want to feel

like everything

will be alright,

i want to feel

like i’m not spiraling,

losing my mind,

i want a sign of light

in this dark, dreary life.

end this nightmare.