1. breaking

like a wrecking ball

to a worn-out stadium,

the walls are crumbling,

tried to piece them

back together,

but nothing holds up,

i’m breaking apart

in front of your very eyes,

watch and be amazed

as i try, in vain,

to appear okay,

while the pain overtakes me,

can’t keep my head straight,

and these days,

can’t bring myself to say

that i feel great.

and i’m finding

that the times

where i’m dead inside

are when i feel

the most alive,

breaks the monotony

of the moments spent

moving like a zombie,

numb to it all,

i stay desensitized,

then every once in a while,

the thoughts pile,

feel like a fleet

of a hundred miles,

brain at a 120 frame rate,

and light or dark,

it never slows.

lately, i’m feeling

scared to go to sleep,

sink into the pillow

and my breath shortens,

almost feel the blanket

suffocating me,

and closing my eyes

is the scariest part,

i’m always worried

they won’t open tomorrow,

insomnia rushing back,

every time i think i’ve tamed

the vicious beast,

it arrives to disrupt the peace

and remind me that,

no matter how hard i try,

i’ll always be broken.

life’s fucked.