6. no love

how am i over here

heartbroken over someone

i haven’t even met?

get the butterflies

when i see your face,

but i haven’t said a word,

and you’re perfect,

but i’m not the one,

and i see you happy

with another lover,

but for some reason,

i can’t get over it,

and i’m hurting from it.

what kinda nonsense is that?

and why am i missing

the one that manipulated

and took advantage of me?

it never worked out,

things fell apart quick,

and everyone says

it’s bad for my health,

but i want you back,

i want to live

in a world with no anger,

where cooler heads prevail,

where all that mess

is just a bad memory

that we can put in the past,

where things work out

and no one talks down

about who you were,

but they see the good

in who you are today.

too late for that, i’d say.

in my dreams,

all i’m seeing

is the romance,

the love, the sex,

things i’ve never wanted less,

but yet, they still exist,

when i drift to sleep,

my thoughts obsess

on what i don’t have,

can’t say i need them

but why do i see them?

how do i simultaneously

feel satisfied and lonely?

individual but codependent,

scared of a commitment

but still wishing for it?

what am i doing?