2. useless

every time i think

i’ve got things

under control,

i find myself falling

back in the same holes,

there’s too much pressure

i’m struggling to handle,

carrying the weight

of the world

on my shoulders,

and now they’re breaking,

i’m the one they fated

to create great things,

but all i’m doing

is wasting away,

trying to smile and pretend

everything’s okay,

but slowly, i’m fading,

not worth saving,

every day, i feel useless.

and there’s some people

i care about

that have been gone

for way too long,

i start to wonder

if they’d want me around,

i’ve lost too many before,

and the fear of rejection

is kicking in again,

how many friends

will i have left?

don’t think i have it in me

to win this battle

against the world,

weakened and drained,

i’m losing my grasp,

don’t know where i go next.

will i even make it to 25?

and am i staying alive

for the quality of life?

or just to say that i survived?

gain some bragging rights

while i’m losing my mind?

worn down by the grind,

no matter how hard i try,

i’m not thriving,

rather go into hiding,

required to keep smiling,

pretend that i’m fine,

chilling on cloud nine

and making stars align,

but on the inside,

i feel like i’m dying.