1. tired of life

i’m tired of life,

another late night,

sleep schedule’s

all over the place,

life of an insomniac

slowly turning

to a hypochondriac,

slightest sickness

feels like dying,

just wanna burst out crying

‘cause i’m 25

struggling to find

some direction in life,

i’ve been pushing

but it’s feeling like

the divine powers

are trying to kill me,

and i don’t know

how much more pain

i can take.

only difference

between ’22 and ’23

is that i’m coping better,

but what’s it matter

when i’m crumbling

under the pressure

of trying to get

bags of cheddar?

8 years later,

my greatest

accomplishment,

and i’ve been low since,

searching for more

out of life than this,

always thought

i was destined for bigger,

but i can’t feed the family

off of love and hope,

is this what it’s like

to be an adult?

‘cause now i feel

like i don’t wanna

grow up,

i got childhood fears

tryna reappear,

pull me back

to last year,

all this time

cooped up inside

got me losing

my mind,

back to thinking

that i’m dragging ‘em down,

nobody’s first

or second

or twelfth choice,

is it all in the mind?

or am i the worst

in the friend group?

it was “fuck people

except my peoples,”

but now i’m scared

that i don’t have peoples,

i don’t wanna say goodbye,

but it’s a choice

i don’t know if i’ll decide.

tell me i’ll be alright.