3. one more conversation

all i wanted

was one more conversation,

so much i had left

to say to you,

questions i needed answers to,

how am i gonna do this

when there’s no “you?”

the silence grows louder

when i’m stuck in the house

all alone,

the one you’ve lived in

since childhood,

wanted to pay it off

to make you proud,

but now i might

get kicked out,

all you left behind

will be gone

in an instant,

like you were never here,

wanted to be able to say

that i escaped

the dead-end job,

got myself off the ground,

but i’m pushed back down,

i don’t know

how to get through this,

you were my guidance,

i wasn’t ready

to say goodbye,

but i’m forced

to face facts,

you’re in the sky,

and i’m left

to try to find

my purpose in life,

fight for you,

but how?

what do i do?

and as i wander

aimlessly

with no direction,

the first tear

finally falls

down my eye.

“i miss you, mom.”