they don’t care
what i’ve got to say,
i could scream it
to the heavens
and no one
would pay attention,
been that way
since the beginning,
i’ve been the human
echo chamber
for as long
as i’ve been living,
cut off and ignored
too many times to count,
and now,
some of the ones
that supported me
the most
are starting
to go away,
i no longer know
what to say.
i don’t wanna
have to die
to hear how much
they love me,
i want to believe it
when they say
how much they care,
if i have to leave
the chat again,
it would be
the end of me,
but i feel like
they’d be better off
without me,
i’m high-functioning
so i pretend i’m okay,
but it’s hard
to bend the truth
when on the inside,
all i do is break.
like i’m sinking
into quicksand,
stuck in a pool
too deep to stand in
and i never learned
how to swim,
water coming up
around me,
and i’m drowning
with no one
to save me,
maybe i’m better alone
because i’m codependent
and i’d only throw
all my weight on you,
how do they all
have their shit together?
i can’t fake it,
i’m wallowing in self-hatred
that i can’t escape,
so much for making it
to the quarter life.
does anyone even hear me?
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