2. confidence

used to be
the one that had
all the self-confidence
because it took me a while
to build it up,
but once i got it
i didn’t let go.
i was always proud
of everything i did,
and i wasn’t worried
about anything.

now my confidence
is on the tip
of the iceberg
because some lady
made me whine
when she told me
to never put myself
in front of
a camera again.
and i know it’s petty
to keep bringing it up,
but that shit still stings
because i don’t get
what it means.
it’s cool when others do it,
but i’m the asshole
when i try it out?

fuck that,
you say it’s not
“visually interesting,”
what about everyone else?
they all
better have gotten
the same exact comment
from you.
you’re supposed to help
motivate those down below,
especially when you
got a nomination
that makes your
small stature
worth looking up to,
but apparently,
motivating and helping
just isn’t your thing.

what’d you get
nominated for
all those years ago?
a thesis?
well, here’s a thesis for ya:
“interest in social justice
doesn’t mean a damn thing
when your words
cause a flood of anxiety
on your students.”
hope that caught your eye,
because that sounds like
the beginning of a
“visually interesting”
paper to me.

eminem once said,
“if you bitches are trying
to strip me of my confidence,
mission accomplished.”
i bet he was
talking about you,
because for a teacher
that’s supposed to encourage,
you’ve done more hurt
than help
for me.
but you don’t care
how many words
i throw on this page,
nothing will change,
because the sad truth
is that you’ll still be
self-absorbed
and arrogant,
like the biggest ones are.
and i can’t be shocked…

since you’re a slytherin.