the big day arrives,
and the only thing
i think about
is how badly
i don’t wanna be here.
in this time to shine,
rock my cap and gown
and show the world
that i made it out alive,
i don’t feel the hype.
the chance for closure,
i should be delighted,
but i feel nothing,
all these messages
i’m bound to receive,
all the praise they’ll send,
i don’t feel worthy of it.
and i’m not excited for it.
shoutout to the people
that didn’t make it through,
i sympathize,
sometimes you peek
behind the curtain,
but you feel
like it isn’t right.
wish the best for you guys,
find your happiness,
and don’t let anyone
throw shame your way,
take this life
at your own pace,
and make yourself proud.
i wish i could do that
as i take this step,
one i don’t feel
prepared for yet,
had the rug pulled
from underneath me,
and now, i’m out the door,
scared to face the world
but i’m lunged forth,
adolescence got ripped
and i’m on edge,
will i really make it?
can i do the great things
they tell me i will?
will i fade away
in a split-second snap?
supposed to be up,
but i’m running on fumes,
the proudest accomplishment
feels like a hollow victory,
on a day of celebration,
of looking back fondly
on all that i’ve done,
i feel worthless,
all i want right now
is to wall off,
seclude myself,
hard to believe it,
they say i succeeded,
but i’ve never felt more
like a failure in my life.
happy graduation day.
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