Saturday, June 27, 2020

2. 2020

close that door,
i’m heading in
with some fresh
new vision,
trying to get creative
in the way
i was back then,
writing albums every weekend,
terrified to see my walls
are caving in,
secretly i’m freaking out,
start of a new season but soon,
i’m gonna be leaving,
getting pushed into
the big world
and i’m crying on the inside,
will i make it in time?
my mind starts flying
when i close my eyes,
i wanna survive.

2019, i had to crawl 
through some snake pits
to make it out alive,
can’t believe i got through
but i did
and that’s what counts,
but everyone’s already
piling out,
and i feel the paranoia
of seclusion as it rears
its head,
catching me when
i least expect it,
toying and telling me
that my time is drying up,
even at 21,
it’s got me questioning
if i’m missing my shot,
and whether these talents
will see me through.

will i get the chance
to leave a legacy behind?
everything around me
is so loud,
they’re all gone so soon,
taken from us so young,
don’t wanna be one,
but i’m coming undone
as adulthood runs in
from around the corner,
they all ask if i’m excited,
i wanna scream in their faces,
no, i’m petrified
that i’m not prepared
to face these challenges,
they come and tell me
i’m not independent
and every night,
i feel like it’s the truth.

2020 scares me.

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