stuck in this
endless state
of self-hate,
prepare to meet
the biggest waste
of space,
life’s greatest sack
of dead weight
i managed to push
those thoughts away
long enough,
but back they came,
one normal day,
shortly after i’d wake,
everything was the same.
but then it changed.
the spirits tried
to possess me
to tie the belt
around my neck
when i wanted it
around my waist,
curiosity got to me,
wanted to see
if it really squeezed,
i took it off right away,
but i never stopped
thinking about it.
kept wondering
if divine intervention
was telling me to do it,
taking over my body,
moving me in ways
i didn’t even want.
if God is real,
is He trying to kill me?
people always say
everything happens
for a reason,
but it’s not always good,
what’s life’s intention?
to make me another
in the line of young artists
gone far too soon?
a reminder to give
others flowers
while they’re still here?
fuck that shit,
let me live,
i’m tired of the world
trying to get rid of me,
could the powers that be
give me some faith, please?
i’m crumbling.
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