5. 2008

i never wanna go
back to 4th grade,
impressed i made
it out with my life,
i had everybody
bullying me, and
never even told
my mama all the
frustration they
placed upon me.
seems surprising
that a sweet boy
was the target of
so many, but low
and behold, i was.

i won’t go naming,
but i still remember
the kid who always
kicked me when he
had to let me in the
classroom, all those
homophobic slurs i’d
constantly hear them
throw at me, and how
they’d lie and make it
out that i was the one
doing shit to them, did
anyone have my back?
nope, my “friends” had
turned right on me, too.

even the days where i’d
listen to trey songz and
play smash bros. brawl,
all just small moments,
couldn’t get away and i
hated it, started showing
signs of seclusion and i’d
stop talking, they’d notice
but wouldn’t know it was
their fault, caused me to
turn paranoid and never
feel like i was worth it, a
little blip, a statistic, and
no one that would ever be
special to the rest of them.

i can’t believe i made it.