heart is heavy as
i try once again to
convince myself i’m
fine without you, but
just as i start trying to
convince myself that i’ll
be alright, the memories
come flooding back to me
and i’m yearning again to
go back to the time when
everything was alright for
the two of us, at the point
where i start to lose myself.
for so much time, i’d be
afraid to speak, wanted
it to seem like i was just
fine, but i was never able
to believe my own lies, so
i watch from the sidelines
and i see you, so happy, i
tell myself you’re so much
better without me, and i’m
sorry i couldn’t be the one
to give you what you need.
wish that i was easier to love,
but i’m just not enough, and
i wish i could fall out of this
feeling, but i’m stuck, and it
sucks that i’m going through
this, just missing you as i sit
and wish this would go away,
or that life played this game
in a more fair way, with less
heartbreak and pain, a little
less self-hate and some more
happiness poured on my plate.
here i am again, missing you.
i’m sorry i’m such a bother.
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