9. a monster (🅰️👿)

inside my head,
there’s a monster.
it rummages and
it looks through me,
it takes my good and
happy thoughts, and
it throws them away.
it makes me angry,
it takes the positivity
and flushes it down,
doing all in its power
to push it all out.

and it tries to change me.

the happy-go lucky
little boy that i was
starts looking less
excited for his life.
he becomes cynical,
his friends notice it,
he’s slowly changing,
and even when he
says that he’s fine,
no one’s buying it.
there’s something
that’s different, too,
less of a glow in him,
less bounciness, less
hope and optimism,
he’s either eating it all
or he’s starving himself.

because he’s not fine.

pretty soon, the boy
becomes the monster,
their spirits merge and
he physically changes.
“what happened to you?”
they all ask him, but he
ignores their questions,
and the few chances he
takes to speak, he just
yells and curses them,
no one’s used to that.
his friendships turn to
a distant memory, and
aggression takes over.
he doesn’t want it, but
he doesn’t know how
he can change it. the
transformation’s done,
he’s turned himself into,

a monster.