9. poetry is my drug

poetry is my drug.

the only thing that
makes me unclean
is the writing that i
create with these.
xans, percs, weed,
molly and lean, all
not stuff for me, i’d
rather go re-read
the poems i weave,
perfectly seamed,
i’m living the dream,
as a poet, i mean.

but i keep coming
right on back after
so little time away,
almost feels like i’m
slowly going astray,
because i can’t wait,
don’t drop this late.
sometimes i’m even
too early for it, that
makes me worried
if i’m giving myself
one too many doses.

or am i giving
everyone else
more doses
than they all
know what
to do with?
what do i do
with all this?
keep pushing
and drop it all?
i just never know
if i’m over the hill.