10. who am i?

who am i?

i’m the guy that
never gets any
surprise parties.
i’m the guy that
never wakes up
to text messages
from anyone that
isn’t my mother.
i’m the guy who
never gets the
“good morning”
from anyone in
a sweet ol’ text.
i’m the guy that
never gets a cool
paragraph post
on social media
telling me how
loved i really am
on my birthday.
i’m the guy that’s
never a first choice
to hang out with.
i’m the guy that’s
not really special.
i’m the guy that’s
not cool enough
for any of those.

i’m just me.

i’m a floater.
i don’t have
a true clique,
i’m in and out
of every circle,
i’m never doing
exciting things,
i’m never out
at some party
living life and
enjoying that.
i never have a
person to love,
because all of
the ones i love
don’t want me,
and the ones
that love me,
i push away.
i’m only ever
sitting inside,
all on my own,
writing it out.

because i’m not exciting.

i wish i was cooler,
i wish i was special,
i wish i was popular,
i wish i was better,
i wish i was bigger,
i wish i was smarter,
i wish i was taller,
i wish i was stronger,
i wish i was the one
that had everybody
looking up to me and
feeling inspired by me,
but i’m not that guy.
i’m just a statistic in
this world of greats,
but i’m here, i exist,
i’m doing my thing,
and in the very end,
that’s all that matters.