Sunday, March 10, 2019

3. paranoia

how bad is it that
the smallest sound
could get me rattled,
thinking you, or one
of your new friends
found a way into my
room to haunt again?
crawled on my leg and
now, all of the sudden,
i’m petrified of all them,
the smallest click-clack,
and i think they’re back.

why can’t this just
get out of my head?
the paranoia, idea of
something minuscule
being so threatening,
getting me horrified,
peace and quiet is all
i’m trying to find, but
the thoughts swirl and
keep me from relaxing.
they all say “breathe,”
and i’m doing that, but
i can’t quiet my heart or
slow my brain, spinning
with no sign of stopping.

don’t even wanna walk
because then it’ll pounce,
i’ll jump out of my socks,
don’t wanna keep it but
i’m terrified to see it move
or hear it squeak, and now
here i am, the only one at
home to try to find a way
to stop my shakes as i’m
faced with all these fears.

and it’s not even here.

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