from the nothing
i emerged,
and to the nothing
i’ll one day go,
another day
i spend fixating
on my fate
and where i came from.
we begin
and end
in a hospital bed,
but what happens
when the lights turn off?
they were off once,
why don’t i remember?
billions of years
where i was just asleep?
then why am i so tired?
insomnia
shouldn’t be a problem
if i was so good
at sleeping then,
before i popped in
without my permission.
and one day,
i’ll be gone
without my permission?
well that’s not fair.
and no one
can tell me
what it feels like,
because no one
who’s ever died
has lived to tell the tale,
something we all face,
but what is fate like
when we get there?
it’s why you gotta
find happiness
in life,
because it goes by
in a flash,
i’m tryna be happy,
but why does peace
elude me?
why can’t i escape
the intrusive thoughts
long enough
to calm down?
why was it
so easy before,
but it’s harder now?
all my fears
refuse to disappear,
it’s like i’m seeing them
crystal clear,
and now i can’t see
my future
because everything else
has gone fuzzy,
where am i even going?
and i’m scared
of being forgotten,
so many end up
lost to time,
and i don’t wanna die
a nobody,
i wanna be somebody,
i wanna make an impact
that lives on
long after i’m gone.
i wanna find comfort,
‘cause what’s a long life worth
if you ain’t happy
in the end?
i’m tryna live,
because i still ain’t happy yet,
and when i get there,
i wanna keep going
and find more happiness,
i’m struggling to figure out
how to be,
and how to feel,
but i’m tryna believe
that one day
i will.
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