3. i wrote the book on self-loathing

tryna muster the strength

to get out of bed,

but i’m too stuck

in my head,

a modern day mr. jones,

just wanna be beautiful

but every time

i’m counting crows,

only 13 show,

it seems i’ve kept

the devil in the know,

he’s been working overtime

on my life,

“fate is kind,”

that’s disney’s biggest lie,

if that was the case,

i wouldn’t be cursed

with the pain

inside my mind.

can’t wait for them

to name a new

mental health disorder

after me,

pretty easy to see

why they’re tired of me,

i’m not cut out

for “fun”

so i’ll be left in the dust,

all i ever do

is bring down

everyone that i’m around,

i’m sinking

into the swamp

like i’m artax,

‘cause who’d wanna be

around someone

who radiates this much sadness?

got some shit

i wanna say

that i’ll hold

to the chest

so i don’t leave ‘em worried,

i made that mistake

and hurt important people,

trust i don’t wanna

do it again,

but just like i said

in 2020,

they’re all better without me,

i bring no value,

and all the happiest days

are the ones

i’m not part of,

should just leave ‘em alone

and disappear,

hide my face in shame

and go away,

i’m too dependent

on ‘em anyway,

they’ll be great

and it’ll all be okay,

‘cause i’m nothing

without them

but they don’t need me

in the same way.

you’ll be fine without me.

go be happy.