2. drown

thought i found

my love

in this club again,

saw her walking in

with that confidence,

got a face like dua,

body like ava,

baby so enchanted,

you would think

that she was taylor,

but so it goes,

i know it all too well,

my head tells me

what my heart won’t,

that she’s only

a distraction,

don’t start now

because i’ll only

open myself up

to further disappointment.

try to convince myself

i’ve fallen in love

with everyone i meet

to forget how much

i want you,

never had the guts

to admit

you were the one,

you struggled to feel

confident in yourself,

but it was me

who wasn’t brave enough,

couldn’t just say it,

now you’re out

of my life,

never coming back,

i’d throw it all away

for another day,

even though i know

it’ll never come.

so i drown myself

and down the bottle,

be lucky

if i hobble home

safely and with

sanity intact,

if a life with love

is a life that’s lived,

then what’s my life

even worth in the end?

tonight i might

bleed out,

doubt i’m worth

crying for,

but i wish

i told you

everything,

because you’re the one

i’ll be missing most

when i’m gone.

i hope you’ll miss me, too.