3. i'm dying inside

another day

where i feel like

i’m just passing the time,

got the kind

of anxiety

that makes standing

feel like a chore,

just wanna lay down

on the floor

and stare up

at the ceiling,

life keeps revealing

all this pressure

i’ve been feeling,

i tried concealing it,

but i’m front row

at the grand unveiling,

i’m a disappointment,

every time

i find a good thing,

i destroy it,

and no matter

my habits,

i just can’t control it.

can’t even distract

myself from it,

my hobbies hardly

have the enjoyment

that they once brought,

there’s nothing to do

but twitter,

insta and youtube,

brain keeps going

in different directions,

offering new distractions

every time

i’m tryna be productive,

and somehow,

i’m too sad

to get the words out,

even though

this is supposed to be

the time

when i come alive,

tryna be a good guy

and keep the vibes high

while i’m dying inside.

waiting for the day

i get out

of my own way,

out of my own head,

i’m hanging by a thread

but i just wanna be

a better friend,

i got people

that need me,

and i wanna be there

for them,

be a helping hand

and a shoulder to cry on,

somebody to rely on,

everybody needs one,

try to be the one to help

even though i don’t

ask for it myself,

give them something

to smile about

even when i have nothing,

maybe then,

i won’t feel like

i have to keep running,

maybe then,

i’ll finally learn

what it’s like

to be worth something.

i’ll stand up eventually.