5. one more day

before you pointed

the pistol at your dome,

what were you thinking of?

you always felt

unworthy of the love,

wasn’t your first try

but this is my last time,

now that you’re gone,

i don’t even feel alive,

survivor’s guilt

kicked in from the minute

that i saw you die,

the worst sight

i’ll ever lay eyes on,

i loved you more

than you could ever

love yourself,

but i always missed

the obvious signs,

all i wanted to do

was call you my wife,

reminders of the cruelty

of life,

haven’t slept

because every night,

i try to convince myself,

“this can’t be right!”

even though i saw it,

i’d give it all

just to have you back,

wanted to comfort you

and keep the demons away,

been looking at pictures

of that smiling face,

all i ever wanted

was one more day,

to show you that

you mattered more

than the voices

in your head,

my best friend,

the love of my life,

the greatest thing

to happen to me,

but now, you’re gone,

and i’m never waking up

from this nightmare

we call life.