2. give up on love

all that cheesy shit

you hear about love

doesn’t seem so cheesy

when you’re alone,

25 years living,

and for most of it,

i thought i was good

on my own,

but when you’re in the dark

for so long,

it gets lonely,

a house doesn’t feel

like a home

with no one to hold,

told myself

all along

that i wouldn’t fall,

now i’m face first

on the floor

and i’m coming apart,

i see the seams

start to unweave

and i’m in stitches,

tryna knit myself

back together

and get used

to the fact

that i’ll be single forever.

seeing all these people

with their lovers

and wishing

for something similar,

why does everybody

seem prettier

when you’ve got no one?

wouldn’t stand a chance

with half the people

i’ve known,

they’re better off

if i just

left them alone,

the one i’m thinking of,

i probably annoy,

too scared to tell

how i really feel,

i wrote seven pages

and i still can’t say it,

just waiting

for the moment

where i fuck up

and make them

uncomfortable

like everyone else,

say too much

and drive them away,

sometimes i wonder

if i should just

give up on love.

what would i even

have to offer?

any potential lover

would be better off

running away

and finding another,

what if

they see me

angry?

it’s something

i don’t even

like to be

‘cause it reminds me

of the guy

i never wanna see,

what if i don’t have

enough money?

can’t pull my weight

to support a family?

what if i have

too many quirks

and insecurities?

my confidence

has been crushed

by the love,

guess it’s time

to realize

i’ll never have anyone.

that’s just my luck with love.