2. insecurities

i have a lot of
big insecurities.
and that might
sound strange,
given that i can
be somewhat
over-confident
and that i can
try to pipe up
so many others,
but there’s things
about myself that
i really don’t like.

everyone loves my hair,
but i’m never happy with
the way that it looks on me.
i think i have a nice smile,
but i don’t show it too often
because i don’t like my teeth.
i feel like i don’t put as much
care into them as i should.
and i’m never happy with
the way my body looks.
i sometimes don’t eat and
other times, i eat too much,
and when i look in the mirror,
i either feel like i’m too skinny
or like i’m getting kinda pudgy.

and i’m never happy with
my personality traits, either.
i always feel so annoying, and
i apologize too much for things.
i type paragraph texts too much,
i post on social media too much,
i post the same things on each of
my social accounts sometimes,
and it makes me feel like i’m just
pissing off everyone around me.

and it’s not like it’s
easy to fix, because
i can’t help myself if
the signs point to it.
i want to believe that
everyone cares and
wants me to be happy,
but the more i see it,
the more i think that
everyone hates me.

i hate me, too.