Thursday, January 3, 2019

8. anxiety

i hear some people
tell me about how
i’m so “open” with
my anxiety and my
negative feelings.
i think i even heard
one or two people
call me “brave” for
talking about this.
i appreciate it, but,
i never saw it as me
being “brave,” i just
saw it as me being
honest about myself.

i feel like people just
like to put on a face,
and they like to act
like something they
aren’t, but i feel like
i have nothing to gain
from lying to others,
so i’d rather just say
how i feel, even when
i’m not super happy or
trying to be so positive.
like, lately, my mood’s
been really shitty, to
the point where i just
need one of those big,
minute-long hugs from
someone i care about.

but i’m not gonna go
smile on my socials
and act like life is all
perfect and happy,
because it’s just not.
and it’s not like i want
people to be worried
about me or anything,
i just want them to see
how i’m really feeling.
good or bad, doesn’t
really matter to me,
i want it to be real.

that’s all.

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