5. i'm worthless, it's great

you ever feel worthless?

yeah, me too! it’s great!

you just spend all of
your days feeling like
you need to isolate,
because the world
only seems to care
when it serves to
help benefit them.
they only help you
when they feel like
you can give them
a reward for effort.

it’s so lovely!

at least for a second,
you feel like they care,
you feel wanted for a
brief bit of time, and you
think you have people
that like your spirit, but
then they’ll crush it once
you give them the thing
they needed from you.
a momentary joy, like
a piece of penny candy,
yummy but disposable.

but at least you were yummy!

at least for that moment,
someone got a taste of you,
perhaps they really liked it,
but just never realized that,
because they had a heart
as black as night, and won’t
stick around to know you,
but even if you’re a piece
of penny candy, at least
you’re the one somebody
picked out of the crowd.

“ed, your story’s gettin’ weird.”